Issue 04

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Queer Out Here Issue 04

Queer Out Here Issue 04 cover by Ella

Immerse yourself in the world! These queer-produced audio pieces explore themes ranging from the intimate and individual to the communal and universal. They will take you from stormy mountains, down rivers brimming with life, into majestic woods, through bustling cities and down to the mysterious underwater world beneath the waves. You’ll find poetry, songs and readings in here, as well as sound art, field recordings, solo musings and conversations. Take your ears adventuring . . .

If you like what you hear, please share Queer Out Here with your friends. You could also get in touch with the creators (info in the show notes) or drop us a line (Twitter / Facebook) - we love hearing from you!

Information about Issue 04

Length: 1:29:55

Transcript: Google Docs / PDF

File size: 144MB

High quality audio version: Google Drive (1GB, .wav file. Trust us, this sounds so much better than the compressed podcast feed version!)

Cover art: Art by Ella (Instagram). Ella writes, “Art is a form of therapy for me, and I wanted this cover art to be an explosion and appreciation of the queer community, and all the wonderful voices within it. I’ve always loved the look of stained glass windows and wanted to experiment with colour to create something fun and expressive. All of my art is hand drawn!”

Content notes: The pieces in Queer Out Here talk about many things related to being queer and the outdoors. This issue contains explicit descriptions of sex, queerphobia, drug use and fear during risky activities. If you have specific anxieties or triggers, you may wish to ask a trusted friend to listen and give you feedback. You could also check the transcript for particular words, or send us an email. If we’ve missed something, please let us know. In particular this issue contains the following:

  1. Explicit description of sex in Sweetness (starts at 1:19:24) and mention of sex in A Cartography of Trespass (starts at 1:07:07)

  2. Mention of drug use in The LGBTour in Amsterdam (starts at 44:20) and A Cartography of Trespass (starts at 1:07:07)

  3. “Deaf”, “dumb” and “blind” as negative traits in Beauty in the Rain (starts at 14:47)

  4. The Holocaust is mentioned in The LGBTour in Amsterdam (starts at 44:20)

  5. Calorie count (not in a restrictive-eating way) in Storms and Saturn’s Return (starts at 55:55)

  6. Low-frequency heartbeat rhythm used in I am Still Breathing (starts at 6:09)

Running order:

  1. River - Cecilé Rose

  2. I Am Still Breathing - Allysse Riordan

  3. Beauty in the Rain (“Rain” by Raymond Garfield Dandridge) - Mags

  4. Autumn on the Red Hill - Mike Parker

  5. A Southern Queer Rambles - Aaron Calidris

  6. The LGBTour in Amsterdam - Sara Espi and Sanne Pols

  7. American Lesbian Odyssey - Carol Prior

  8. Storms and Saturn’s Return - Chris Harnois

  9. A Cartography of Trespass - Jonathan

  10. Sweetness - Kamila Rina

  11. Hikes to the River at the Mountain Base - Fenrir Cerebellion

Show notes for Issue 04

Introduction - Jonathan and Allysse

  • 0:00:00

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Opener, welcome, thank yous and housekeeping. Sound of a trickling stream plays beneath the introduction.

Sweeper - Abby

River - Cecilé Rose

  • 0:03:03

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Poem, field recording. An affirmation to myself, and a love letter to the one that makes me feel alive.

  • Creator bio: Cecilé Rose is a 28 year old woman living in Stockton, California. She is fat, bi, and a watercolor artist, so making art with sound is really new to her. Cecilé loves to be outside with her dog, Josie, and whether it's hiking, a day at the lake, or even a walk around town, she's always with her partner in crime. Ms. Rose also volunteers to take her city's animal shelter's dogs out for a day. It's really rewarding, not only does she get to hang out with new dog friends but she also brings attention to the dogs and their personalities. Between her two, sometimes three, jobs and making sure every dog is happy, it can be a handful - one thing Ms. Rose enjoys doing for herself is kayaking alone down her favorite river, the Mokelumne.

  • Creator link: Instagram

  • Creator statement: In my poem "River" I took a recording of one morning kayaking down the Mokelumne River, then added my poem separately. This past summer I've started to regularly kayak. My favorite place to go is the next town over's small lake and going down the connecting river, the Mokelumne. The stretch I've gone so far is super calm - and it's always a new adventure. Saving capsized bees, catching glimpses of the families of river otters, even on occasion running into swimming deer (they swim fast!) I've fallen in love with this river, I've fallen in love with myself on this river. So this is my love letter to the river and all that she's shown me.

  • Acknowledgements: Recorded on Plains Miwok land.

I Am Still Breathing - Allysse Riordan

Beauty in the Rain (“Rain” by Raymond Garfield Dandridge) - Mags

  • 0:14:47

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Poem. A rainstorm and a reading of the poem Rain by Raymond Garfield Dandridge.

  • Creator bio: Mags works for a charity in East Sussex, but is about to relocate to her native north east England. She enjoys travel, photography and enjoying nature. 

  • Creator link: Website

  • Creator statement: I awoke early on 27 July 2019 to the sound of rhythmic rain. It can feel so calming and soothing just to sit and listen to the raindrops as they quench the thirst of the earth below. My home is surrounded by trees and this seems to amplify the sound. The rain evoked the poem Rain by American poet Raymond Garfield Dandridge.

  • Acknowledgements: The recording was made at the Pestalozzi International Village, Sedlescombe, East Sussex where I live and work.

Sweeper - Ross

Autumn on the Red Hill - Mike Parker

  • 0:17:43

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Reading, field recording. An autumnal foraging outing at Rhiw Goch is interwoven with readings from Mike’s new book On the Red Hill.

  • Creator bio: Mike is the author of around a dozen books, including Map Addict, a love letter to the Ordnance Survey, The Wild Rover, a celebration of the humble footpath, and Neighbours From Hell?, a polemic about English attitudes to Wales and the Welsh. His new book On the Red Hill is a search for the queer rural, focussing especially on his friends and benefactors Reg and George, who met in 1949 and were together until their deaths a few weeks apart in 2011. They left their remote old farmhouse in the Welsh hills to Mike and his boyfriend Preds, as well as a mighty archive of photos, diaries and letters that form the backbone of On the Red Hill.

  • Creator links: Website / Twitter / Instagram

  • Creator statement: The piece was recorded when Allysse came to Rhiw Goch, to talk through ideas of the queer rural as explored in On the Red Hill. She and I went out walking - and swimming - the landscape that I write about in the book, always accompanied by Fflos the dog. It was recorded in September 2019 in mid Wales, and features the great autumn activity of foraging as well as readings from On the Red Hill.

  • Acknowledgements: Readings from On the Red Hill: Where Four Lives Fell into Place by Mike Parker, published by William Heinemann (Penguin) in 2019.

A Southern Queer Rambles - Aaron Calidris

  • 0:27:52

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Monologue. Some rambling thoughts from a queer outdoorsperson living in the US Bible Belt.

  • Creator bio: Aaron is a nature lover and an amateur nature photographer. They spend their free time searching for rare plants and sometimes wildlife and photographing them so that these ecosystems and species can have their stories told.

  • Creator link: Instagram

  • Creator statement: Living in the Southern United States presents dilemmas at times. The yearning to be yourself and to also be safe. However, nature has always been a calming force that not only helps me to better understand myself and the world around me but to love better. 

Sweeper - Martha

The LGBTour in Amsterdam - Sara Espi and Sanne Pols

  • 0:34:59

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Interview. Sanne takes visitors to Amsterdam on a journey through the streets of our queer past. Hear what inspired her LGBTour.

  • Creator bio 1: Sara Rosa Espi is a recovering academic, queer parent, writer and performer. In her research as part of the project Back to the Book, Sara focussed on the archiving of zines in a digital age. She also writes and performs stories which have been featured on Australian national radio. Her zines Curiosity Killed the Cat But it Saved My Bacon, Burnout, 5000 Cans of Spam and Platonic Love Stories are about neurodivergence, food, love and friendship.

  • Creator bio 2: Sanne Pols is a public speaker, writer, and trainer with which she tries to make your school- or workspace more inclusive. Personal storytelling flows through her veins and is reflected in all her work as an expert in diversity and inclusion. Most of all she enjoys her self-developed LGBTour, a queer walk through the pink heart of Amsterdam, through which she connects LGBTQI+ people and allies from all over the world.

  • Creator links: Instagram / Airbnb

  • Creator statement: Since 2017, Sanne Pols has been leading people around Amsterdam on the LGBTour. Her tour weaves together intensely personal narratives with historical stories of joy and repression, of coming outs and finding places to come together - like the first lesbian bar in the city, which opened in 1927. As a storyteller I was fascinated by the idea of her tour, and how she creates new queer geographies of the city in these intimate tellings. Sanne agreed to an interview which would go on to launch a close friendship. We met under the strange phallic sculpture at Dam Square where her tour begins and settled down for a talk. The square is full of tourists, pigeons, bustle and hustle and lots of interruptions. It felt like a perfect place to talk about what inspired her to start leading visitors around the city, and how coming out made her aware of the intense vulnerability of being queer in public. 

American Lesbian Odyssey - Carol Prior

  • 0:44:54

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Music, monologue. Songs written whilst travelling in the USA in 1987, discovering the burgeoning lesbian scene from Florida to Michigan.

  • Creator bio: Carol Prior is a singer-songwriter and choir leader based in Hastings.

  • Creator link: Website

  • Creator statement: In 1987 I was a jobbing actor. After making an autobiographical film for Channel 4 as a lesbian performer (Waiting for the Green Light) I decided to see what the USA had to offer. What I discovered was a burgeoning lesbian culture unlike anything I had experienced in the UK. I was totally smitten and a six week holiday became a six month odyssey. I felt inspired to write four songs about my experiences, three of which are featured in my piece.

  • Acknowledgements: Sheila Fey and Sandi are singing and playing drums/percussion.

Storms and Saturn’s Return - Chris Harnois

  • 0:55:55

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Monologue. Stormy weather, a trail clinging to the side of a cliff and a solo backpacking - a parallel on life at large. 

  • Creator bio: Chris is an avid hiker, flutist, yogi, and reader that burns for the trail and adores mixing their passions. They have a day job on the side. They reside in Seattle, WA, USA on the ancestral land of the Duwamish. 

  • Creator links: Instagram / Website

  • Creator statement: Field recording made on 8 August 2019 in the North Cascades, Washington State, USA. A reflection my life as it stands in 2019, disappointment around outdoor goals, yet positive conviction on moving forward and creating community. 

  • Acknowledgements: Piece recorded on ancestral land of the Nlaka'pamux.

Sweeper - Emma

A Cartography of Trespass - Jonathan

  • 1:07:07

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Sound art. A twisting, meandering audio essay, reflecting on space, trespass and queerness.

  • Creator bio: Jonathan is a walker and a stickybeak. He is one of the editors of Queer Out Here.

  • Creator links: Twitter / Website

  • Creator statement: An abridged version of a longer piece that explores ideas about space, trespass and queerness. (Listen to the full length version here.) In this edit, we start by passing a ‘keep out’ sign to explore the woods near my home, before delving into my own memories of queer encounters and dipping into queer stories shared anonymously via an online map. This is a conversation opener rather than a definitive statement: my experiences and thoughts on this topic come from a position of white, able bodied and relative class privilege. Other people in other places will have very different relationships to space, place and trespass - and I would love to hear responses in that vein in a future issue.

  • Acknowledgements: Australian field recordings taken on Boonwurrung and Wurundjeri (Woiwurrung) and Krowathunkooloong (GunaiKurnai) country. This always was and always will be Aboriginal land. We acknowledge Woiwurrung and GunaiKurnai elders past and present, and extend this acknowledgement to all Indigenous people listening. Thank you to Queering the Map for permission to include user-submitted pins from their map in this piece. Queering the Map pins read by Dan, Jess from Canada and Stephanie Lai. Additional field recordings by Emily, Jenny and S-J Smith. Thank you!

Sweetness - Kamila Rina

  • 1:19:24

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Poem. A poem about semi-public sex in nature.

  • Creator bio: Kamila Rina is a multi-disabled immigrant Jewish non-binary bi poet, a sexuality/gender/disability educator, and a survivor of long-term violence. They enjoy talking about being present in one’s body and fomenting the revolution. Their favourite things include trees, books, chocolate, radical accessibility, and people and things that smell good. Kamila has been published in Room Magazine, Breath & Shadow, Sinister Wisdom, Monstering, Deaf Poets Society, and We Have Come Far, has publications forthcoming in Carousel and Augur, and has produced a chapbook titled Multitasking with Feelings.

  • Creator link: Website

  • Creator statement: I always love hanging out with trees, whatever else I'm doing. So this is a piece about having sex in a hammock, in nature, surrounded by gorgeous trees - but still close to various other people also enjoying the nature. The two things I was focused on, and am focusing the poem on - other than of course the joy of orgasms and the getting to them - were/are the necessity of being quiet (because we wouldn't have enjoyed getting 'caught') and the joyful and grounding energy I was absorbing from the trees.

Sweeper - Emily and Jenny

Hikes to the River at the Mountain Base - Fenrir Cerebellion

  • 1:22:30

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Field recording, monologue. Trail and river hiking with a dog, talking about changes in the river and the importance of trail access.

  • Creator bio: Fenrir is a white, Muslim, disabled, queer settler living on Unceded Coast Salish Territory, in the city of Vancouver. They grew up in the Okanagan, of Syilx and Nlaka’pamux Territory, in the semi-arid climate of the Rocky Mountains. While struggling to live in a city that is increasingly financially inaccessible to its residents and queer space creation, they are finally on the move for somewhere they can spend more time writing, playing music, and hiking with their dog.

  • Creator links: Twitter / Website

  • Creator statement: After struggling to find hikes online to take my dog off-leash, I started looking for trails on maps and found this now-regular hike. While sometimes accompanied by a friend, these recordings are from solo hikes in Summer and Fall with my dog, taking note of the river’s changes between seasons.

  • Acknowledgements: The Seymour River (as named by settlers) and surrounding area are the lands of the Tsleil-Waututh Nation.

Conclusion - Jonathan and Allysse

  • 1:27:43

  • Transcript

  • Short description: Concluding comments and thanks. Background sound: a trickling stream morphs into a drone and electronic twangy notes, building to a crescendo then cutting abruptly, leaving echoes and a quiet stream to fade out.