Issue 08
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Welcome to a rich audio world that spans continents, species, genres and geological eras. With firework-studded skies, creepy streetscapes and remote mountains, travels by bike, jeep, foot and imagination, and connections through music, meditation, the natural world and community joy, there’s something for everyone in Queer Out Here Issue 08.
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Information about Issue 08
Length: 1:23:43
Transcript: Google Docs / PDF
High quality audio version: Google Drive (.wav file, 1.24GB)
Running order:
A Dutch New Year - Jenny List
Winter 2020 - Elisabeth Flett
Uncanny Nausea - Shaughn Martel (aka bit-form)
Being Outside - Bilen Berhanu
Space in Nature - Dee Lister
Silence - Celia
Merging Temporalities - Jaime Simons
A Pretty One Sided Conversation with a Pigeon - Fish (aka Xym)
Conduits for Joy - Roxanna Barry with Alison Wormell and Mari Funabashi
TransBike Europe - Bart
My Shiny Jeep and Me - Cheryna Guzman
Queer Forest Bathing with Toadstool Walks - Travis Clough
Grandmother Earth, Grandfather Sky - Indigie Femme
Cover art: This issue’s fantastic cover photo and design is by Dee Lister (they/she). Dee is a queer biracial visual artist and writer who’s in complex trauma recovery. Dee finds joy in the process of artmaking just as much as what’s created in consequence. When they aren’t walking in nature or creating black and white analogue photographs, Dee likes to doodle or read poetry whilst sitting under a blanket with their rescue dog. Dee writes of their cover, “The metaphor resonates of a bedraggled though majestic bird soaring away from the others who huddle atop a building nestled within the urban decay of a town centre (which in this case was Bolton). This may be cliché, but I believe transcending internalised shame and fear with gentleness, self-worth and acceptance of past trauma makes just stepping out the door an act of resistance.” Find Dee at their website, or visit their Linktree for other socials.
Content notes: The pieces in Queer Out Here talk about many things related to being queer and the outdoors. This issue contains: discussions of mental illness, mental health, disability, and social ostracisation; non-detailed mentions of queerphobia, racism and ableism; mentions of Covid lockdown; non-graphic references to animal harm (e.g. fishing); sudden and loud sounds like fireworks, vehicles and wind distortion; harsh and unusual whispering sounds; some swearing and use of language that’s often considered ableist (e.g. “crazy”). If you have specific anxieties or triggers, check this transcript or ask a trusted friend to listen and give you feedback. Please let us know if there is something we’ve missed and we will add it to the show notes on our website.
Acknowledgement of Country: This issue and its documentation were edited in part on Brayakaulung (Gunaikurnai) Country. This always was and always will be Aboriginal land. We pay our respects to Gunaikurnai elders and we extend this to all Indigenous elders and Indigenous and First Nations listeners around the world.
Show notes for Issue 08
Opener - various contributors
0:00:00
Short description: A mixture of sounds from the pieces in this issue, including thunder, singing, whale sounds, water, footsteps and snippets of talking.
Introduction - Jonathan (he/they) and Allysse (she/they)
0:00:42
Short description: Welcome and housekeeping with Allysse and Jonathan. In the background there are gentle sounds of birds in the countryside in rural Wales.
A Dutch New Year - Jenny List (she/her)
0:04:40
Short description: Audio postcard. A walk through a small Dutch town on New Years Eve, with attendant spontaneous firework display.
Creator bio: Jenny is a middle-aged British trans woman with a lifelong love of the outdoors.
Creator link: Website
Creator statement: This is one of the most unexpected yet completely Dutch experiences for a British tourist to find in the Netherlands, when a sensible small town turns into something that looks and sounds like a warzone as everyone sets off as many fireworks as they can.
Content notes: Loud noises, mentions of alcohol use and transphobia.
Winter 2020 - Elisabeth Flett (she/her)
0:13:09
Short description: Sound art. Join Elisabeth Flett in the depths of December 2020 as she goes on her nightly nocturnal walk and begins to question her sanity.
Creator bio: Elisabeth Flett is an award-winning writer, theatre-maker, musician and general feminist trouble maker. Winner of the Guildhall School of Music and Drama Rose Lawrence Award for academic writing in 2017 and University of Aberdeen Literary Lights 2021, Elisabeth’s writing spans academia, poetry, plays, fiction and auto-biographical content. Her poetry is featured in zines published by Hysteria and Coin-Operated Press, and in Out on the Page’s anthology “Queer Writing for a Brave New World”. Elisabeth is passionate about mental health awareness, LGBTQ+ rights and gender equality, themes which often feature in all forms of her work as a creative practitioner.
Creator statement: Winter 2020 might seem a surprising creative response to the prompt “outside”. Indeed, when I played it to a friend she expressed horror that I’d created something so unnerving instead of something more joyful! When I think of the “outside”, however, my memory inevitably skips straight to the time period where I realised I’d always taken the outdoors for granted as I paced around my small flat, cooped up with the rest of the nation during Covid lockdown as we all went slowly insane and hoarded toilet paper. Living in Aberdeen and struggling through a Masters degree over Zoom, I was terribly lonely, lacking purpose, and with nothing to stop me I found myself sliding into a sleep routine worthy of Dracula. Wandering around deserted central Aberdeen at night, I felt like I’d slid into the pages of War of the Worlds, the city abandoned apart from me and perhaps an overly optimistic man skulking somewhere around in the sewers. As a fan of Jeff Wayne’s musical version of the novel I decided to pay homage to him with this poetic soundscape piece, the synths and distorted vocals a nod to the innovative sounds found throughout his compositions.
Content notes: Harsh and distorted sounds, whispering, references Covid lockdown.
Uncanny Nausea - Shaughn Martel (aka bit-form) (they/them)
0:16:33
Short description: Sound art, music. Edited field recordings from a rusting outdoor piano string section found on the street in winter 2023.
Creator bio: Shaughn Martel is a queer, ADHD, new media artist focused on the performance of media, sound and digital technology, currently practising in Tkaronto, Ontario. Shaughn embraces form and content through bugs in digital tools and exposing the process of assemblage of digital materials, using the flaws of a medium as the grounds for artmaking. Shaughn has been exhibiting work since 2014, most recently with New Adventures in Sound Art for the 16th annual Deep Wireless Festival and with the Margin of Eras Gallery. Currently in their final year at OCAD University for a Bachelors of Art in Integrated Media, Shaughn is the first recipient of the James Bailey Award through NAISA North in radio and transmission art and became a member of the Ada Lovelace Fellowship in 2022.
Creator links: Linktree
Creator statement: I wanted to make a sort of disorienting horror soundtrack using intermittent starting and stopping of driving low tones. Field recordings of the overall atmosphere of the street where the piano string section was found include the passing cars. Both raw and edited sounds were used.
Content notes: Harsh and distorted sounds.
Land acknowledgement: Known by many names of first peoples for thousands of years, Tkaronto, “the place in the water where the trees are standing” in the Mohawk language, is also known as so-called “Toronto” in Ontario Canada. Historically, this place is known as the site for the Dish with One Spoon Treaty. Originally a trading ground, many Indigenous peoples from The Mississaugas of the Credit River, the Haudenosaunee, the Chippewa, the Anishnabeg, and the Huron-Wendat, developed this treaty in the interest of fellowship and shared stewardship of this land. Although this city currently stands to continue in commerce, the treaties concerning the lands of these people have been betrayed for large business and colonial expansion through resource extraction that poisons the land and water.
Sweeper - Mags
0:17:33
Being Outside - Bilen Berhanu (she/her)
0:20:20
Short description: Monologue, field recording. Reflections on being outside during the #52hikechallenge.
Creator bio: Born and raised in Ethiopia and currently based in Brooklyn (New York), Bilen is a life-long enthusiast and student of all things outdoors. Bilen has an established full spectrum doula practice. Her care work is grounded in liberatory practices of reclaiming agency and providing pathways to empowered experiences in life’s monumental transitions. In an effort to add to the movement to address disparities, Bilen is deeply committed to creating accessible, culturally competent and LGBTQIA+ affirming experiences in the outdoors. Bilen graduated with a BA in Environmental Studies from Mount Holyoke College and an MA in Social Science: Environment & Community from Humboldt State University.
Creator statement: When I pause long enough and quiet my busy mind, I hear the land speak. It is easy to be in this conversation when you know to listen more than talk. But it’s not always easy to hear what is said and often asked of us. It is not easy to hold what cannot be carried. It’s not convenient but it’s still so important. Much has already been said about the separation between “man” and “nature”. Through this artificial cleaving and dispossessing, we produced a wilderness separate from us. We are forced to uphold binaries as though they serve us. The erasure. The falsehood. The pain-soaked soil. The tear-stained wind. There is no shortage of testimony. Just be still and listen. With your whole being. It is overwhelming. Asking permission. Acknowledging all that remains hidden. Making a real and lived effort to be in right relationship. Taking up space. Disrupting narratives. Pushing back. Opening wounds to find healing. Being outside, we can drop the pretence. The cacophony of everyday life melts away and we are called to remember. We have been out here. We belong out here. We are here.
Content notes: References chronic illness, Covid and social injustices.
Land acknowledgement: Stolen lands of the Lenni-Lenape peoples.
Space in Nature - Dee Lister (they/she)
0:30:00
Short description: Audio postcard. Walk with Dee as they connect with nature and share their poetic prose thoughts whilst being buffeted by the wind.
Creator bio: Dee identifies as a queer, biracial person of colour who lives with invisible disability. Dee is an artist and published creative photographer whose work explores small stories in nature, whilst conveying their inner world to audiences using visual metaphor. For Dee, walking in nature is life-breath, which combined with their creative practices provides safe space to process complex trauma and embodied experiences. Dee published a zine called Glimmers in 2022 that featured anthotype photographs and words inspired by sunrise and sunset. More of their work can be seen on their website and Instagram.
Creator statement: This recording is a raw and unconstructed account of happenings in one place and time. The wind is the only accompaniment and so I spoke to this, exploring other sensory experiences as they unfolded. The piece is stream-of-consciousness because that’s how I make sense of being in the moment. It’s how I get through my days, or half hours more precisely, because it’s often a struggle to stay present as someone living with emotional flashbacks and complex trauma. I’m very unwell right now, everyday talking and doing is a rough path, but walking in nature brings me peace. This is my intention with the piece that may speak to listeners through conveying the simple beauty of mindfully moving through space.
Content notes: References mental and physical illness, some wind distortion.
Silence - Celia (they/them)
0:32:37
Short description: Poetry. Reflections on the feeling of silence in the Norwegian mountains.
Creator bio: Celia is from Bonares, a little village in the south of Spain, but lives in Freiburg im Breisgau, Germany. They work as a cook in a bio-regional, vegetarian-vegan restaurant although they studied Sport Sciences Bachelor's Degree and an Outdoor Sports Master's Degree. They are a mountain guide and would like to start their own queer outdoor tourism company, to guide groups in the mountains and create safe spaces for everybody outdoors. Sometimes, in their free time, they do research about the intersections between outdoor pedagogies and queer pedagogies. They love writing, cooking, taking care of their garden, doing outdoor sports and travelling by bike (especially with their cat).
Creator link: Instagram
Creator statement: The mountains of Bodø (Norway) inspired me to write this poem about silence. The aim of our trip was a conference about gender and sports in Bodø to present our research work. After that, my partner and I planned a hiking trip doing wild camping around Lurfjellhytta. The peaceful feeling of being alone between Nordic mountains in a frozen landscape... There was no wind sound, birds tweeting, or people's noise...
Land acknowledgement: Bodø is located on Sámi land.
Sweeper - Jackie
0:34:07
Land acknowledgement: Recorded on Wurundjeri country.
Merging Temporalities - Jaime Simons (they/them)
0:36:22
Short description: Sound art, field recording. This watery track queers time by merging sounds of the past and the present, spanning all the way back to the late Cambrian period.
Creator bio: Jaime Simons is a Canadian sound artist and museum professional, residing on the unceded and unsurrendered territory of the Algonquin Anishinaabek. Their work merges art, history, and geography through creative interventions, drawing on sonic mapping and queer sound theory to offer different ways of engaging with historical sources.
Creator statement: This track emerged from research into queer sound theory and frustrations with the binarisation of gender, time, history, and the environment through their treatment as immutable objects. To express this frustration, the track begins by treating the Ottawa River as a co-creator, engaging with its deep geologic time. It attempts to create a sonic image of the river and of the creators frustration at the time of the project by including field recordings done at specific moments. These include recordings of rapids and swirling currents, ice crystals, and underwater sounds, recorded during both solo and group hikes along the Ottawa River. The track meditates on queer geography and works to remind listeners of the wider environment, ecosystems, networks, and histories to which the Ottawa River both connects to and comes from. The recent past and the deep past are performed simultaneously, representing how evidence of deep time is still present in the here-and-now. The inclusion of the expected (e.g. water noises) and the unexpected (e.g. whale and walrus calls, human voices, sounds from different geological eras) encourage listeners to reflect on how they binarize thoughts about time and environments to move towards acknowledging the interdependence of places and temporalities.
Acknowledgements: Natalie, Meranda, Sammy and Meg.
Land acknowledgement: This work was created on the unceded and unsurrendered territory of the Algonquin Anishinaabek.
A Pretty One Sided Conversation with a Pigeon - Fish (aka Xym) (they/them)
0:40:44
Short description: Field recording, music. Fish is talking to pigeons about crows and mice. Pigeons don’t say much. Some singing happens.
Creator bio: Fish (or Xym) is a nonbinary, disabled (neurodivergent and chronically ill) person living in Poland. They are a university dropout with a bachelor's degree in chemistry and unfinished degrees in biotechnology and sociology. They graduated from a music high school. In the past they have collaborated with a Warsaw based performance arts group, Kem. Before the pandemic they liked participating in improv workshops and poetry slams in their local theatre. Their favourite hobby is playing tabletop RPGs. Currently they are trying to learn how to draw. They like talking to pigeons, listening to hedgehogs’ footsteps and taking photos of frogs and lizards.
Creator statement: This piece is inspired by things I experienced during my walks to the Wisła river. I used my phone to record sounds from the park that is on the way from my home to the river, as well as the sounds of the Wisła river herself. I like greeting pigeons when I walk next to them, but I usually don’t hold long conversations like this with them. I did not actually bother the pigeons too much during recording. I feel solidarity with non-human animals that are often disregarded or disrespected by the other people I see participating in “the outdoors”. As a person who has been othered and denied bodily autonomy because of their identities and status as chronically ill, I see many similarities between how I am treated and other animals are treated. I wanted to examine how those experiences impact my connection with “the outdoors”. I hope my piece will inspire others to reflect about their relationship to nature and other human and non-human animals.
Content notes: Mentions of ableism, social ostracisation, Covid, animal harm (fishing).
Conduits for Joy - Roxanna Barry (they/she) with Alison Wormell (they/them) and Mari Funabashi (she/her)
0:47:36
Short description: Documentary, music. Excerpt from a short film exploring creativity (see below). Alison discusses making their own reeds for their bassoon and plays a piece on their bassoon in Grizedale Forest.
Creator bios: Roxanna is a queer, mixed-race photographer and filmmaker, who focuses on diverse stories in the outdoors. Roxanna shot and directed the short film that this sound comes from. Alison is a queer bassoonist and founder of Play Outdoors Productions, a production house focused on shining a light on diversity in the outdoors. Alison performed bassoon in a forest in the Lake District and talked about what making music means to them. Mari is a queer, multi-ethnic immigrant of colour who is a musician and film composer. Mari scored the music for this track.
Creator links: Play Outdoors Productions: Instagram / YouTube. Roxanna: Instagram / Website. Alison: Instagram / Website. Mari: Instagram
Creator statement: This audio follows Alison Wormell (they/them) as we explore why they make reeds for their bassoon, and how this allows them to share joy through their music with others. We also hear about Alison's connection with the outdoors and how this influences their music. At the end, Alison performs a piece for solo bassoon. We recorded this performance after spending the day cycling around the local gravel, filming the film Conduits for Joy, which this audio is a part of. We found a clearing in Grizedale forest, pushed our bikes in, and recorded Alison playing the bassoon amongst the trees.
Acknowledgements: Voice and performance by Alison Wormell. Largo for Solo Bassoon composed by Jean-Daniel Braun.
Sweeper - Raine
0:49:36
Acknowledgement: Recorded on Gunaikurnai country.
TransBike Europe - Bart (they/them)
0:51:09
Short description: Diary, field recordings. An invitation into one day of a six-month bike trip through Europe.
Creator bio: Bart is currently a Ph.D. student; their research focuses on the experiences of trans people in outdoor and adventure activities. Further research interests are queer, feminist, and outdoor methodologies and the intersections between queer and outdoor pedagogies. Bart is also a UIMLA-certificated Mountain Guide. Bart loves travelling by bike, their cat Tjena (who always comes on biking and hiking trips!), hiking, skiing, snowshoeing, winter hiking, climbing, cooking and eating regional food, and taking care of their vegetable garden.
Creator link: Instagram
Creator statement: The central part of this piece was recorded in the summer of 2020 for an art and performance project called “In first person: The Dance”. The intro and after was recorded in my garden on a sunny and cold afternoon in February 2023. The trip itself was a solo six-month bike trip that started in Malaga (south of Spain) in February 2017 and finished in Aurich (north of Germany) in August 2017. Throughout these months I got in contact with many other trans activists and participated in some demonstrations for LGTBQ+ rights and had lots of adventures. It was definitely one of the best periods of my life.
Content notes: Passing mention of transphobia in sport, description of eating meat.
Sweeper - Rachel
1:01:42
Land acknowledgement: Recorded on Gunaikurnai country.
My Shiny Jeep and Me - Cheryna Guzman (she/her)
1:02:55
Short description: Monologue, field recording. Female off-roader exploring California, figuring out what it’s like to be in a male dominated world and to change it.
Creator bio: Cheryna Guzman is an offroading enthusiast located in Oakland, California, USA. Her Jeep, known as Nacho, has taken her on many adventures often with her fiancé Bex Mui and occasionally with their cat, Angél too. You can find her either in the backyard removing rust and checking the bolts under Nacho, or exploring the country.
Creator link: Instagram
Creator statement: This piece is about my experience with the outdoors through the lens of having a 4-wheel-drive vehicle, my jeep Nacho. I discuss my perspective being a queer Dominican woman in the off-roading world and what that means. I invite listeners to join me on the road through a clip of one of my first off-roading trips. This story is ongoing, especially as I embark on a three-month, cross-country road trip, and I encourage folks to join me on this journey, and to help continue to raise the visibility of women and people of colour in the outdoors through following my Instagram.
Land acknowledgement: The region that is now part of Tahoe National Forest is the ancestral homelands of Nisenan, the Washoe, and many other Indigenous communities.
Queer Forest Bathing with Toadstool Walks - Travis Clough (he/they)
1:10:34
Short description: Documentary. A queer forest bathing retreat in the southern hills of Vermont. A weekend filled with queer connection and meditation in the woods.
Creator bio: Travis was born and raised on unceded Wabanaki land now called Maine. When he's not making audio stories you can find him in the woods and rivers in Maine. He also loves to play old-time banjo and teaches monthly quilting classes. Travis is a Registered Maine Guide.
Creator link: Instagram
Creator statement: This piece was recorded over Insidious People's Weekend (October) in Vermont, USA at Basecamp at Beaver Falls, headquarters for The Venture Out Project. Tam Willey, Toadstool Walks, guide and leader of the weekend is interviewed about their practice. This piece was intended to give an overview of what a forest bathing retreat is. I used to guide for The Venture Out Project, and Tam and I ran three retreats together before the pandemic. This was the first one I attended as a participant.
Acknowledgement: Thanks to Tam Willey.
Land acknowledgement: Wabanaki (Dawnland Confederacy).
Grandmother Earth, Grandfather Sky - Indigie Femme (she/her)
1:16:13
Short description: Music. Driving alone / Grandmother’s home / Grandfather’s gone / His spirit lives on / I see the moon / Look to the sky / Sacred prayers I know deep down inside.
Creator bio: Indigie Femme (Tash Terry and Elena Higgins) weaves Navajo/Dine, Maori, and Samoan Cultures with their voices, drums, and percussion. Indigie Femme has been 2017 Indigenous Music Award nominees; 2016, 2014 and 2012 New Mexico Music Award winners; 2013 Aboriginal Peoples Choice as Best International Duo; 2011 Native American Music Award winners and Sacramento Women of Color & Diversity Honorees; and 2010 Canadian Aboriginal Music Awards. They are especially well known in the two-spirit world of indigiqueer performance. Elena brings her Maori and Samoan ancestors from New Zealand in new and moving vocals. Whether strumming her Australian Maton (upside-down guitar), offering harmonies or performing sweet a capella, she moves her audience to embrace her glorious smile and haunting sounds. Tash comes from the Navajo Nation bringing with her that Nation’s songs and stories. She grew up hearing the mystical music of her masani (grandmother) whose awe for mother earth and devotion to Navajo ways was unshakable. Tash now renders that enduring spirit through her own musical interpretations both traditional and modern.
Creator link: Website
Creator statement: “Grandmother Earth, Grandfather Sky” comes from Indigie Femme’s album of the same name. Tash writes: “This CD is particularly special in that it speaks and sings to my traditional grandmother and grandfather and the influences of growing up on the Navajo Nation. My grandfather Samuel Dalton passed into the Spirit World in 1996 and my grandmother Margaret Dalton continues to do her walk and live her traditional life on Black Mesa to the best or her ability - with help from relatives. In essence, my grandmother is of Grandmother Earth and my grandfather is of Grandfather Sky in the Spirit World, thus the title of the CD is dedicated to them.”
Conclusion - Allysse (she/they) and Jonathan (he/they)
1:21:45
Short description: Concluding comments and thanks. Background sounds of gentle birdsong and, later, sheep bleating in the distance.
